Chin-chin • Cheers! • Lekker. • Hoi • Op vriendskap • to friendship • Vimos 2019

**English version below**

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Alhoewel ek nie die dag saam met Riana (die stigter) spandeer nie, het ek die voorreg gehad om in April saam met haar ‘n paar glasies te klink. Ook in die foto: Hartsmense, Jaco en Nicolene Walters. • Even though I cannot spend the day with the founder, Riana, I did have the opportunity to cheers quite a few drinks with her during April. Also in the photo: Jaco and Nicolene Walters.

Liefste leser.

Dit is alweer sulke tyd. 24 uur toegewyd daaraan om vriendskap te vier: Vimos-dag. ‘n Dag wat vir my elke jaar net soveel ryker aan betekenis is. Deels omdat die vriendskap wat ek met die stigter het eksponensiëel gegroei het vandat ek dit in 2016 ook begin vier het, maar ook omdat ek waardevolle lesse rondom vriendskap geleer het gedurende dié tyd. Soms goed, soms sleg. Altyd nodig.

Lees hier oor die ontstaan van Vimos-dag:  Vriende & Vonkelwyn • VIMOS • Friends & Champagne

Lees hier die stories wat ek vertel het elke ander jaar wanneer ek my glasie geklink het op vriendskap: Vimos-dag 2017Vimos 2018 ∙ Sjampanje enige iemand? ∙ Champagne anyone?.

Sedert Vimos-dag 2015 was die lesse rondom vriendskap wat vir my uitstaan soos volg:

  • As dit nie onvoorwaardelik is nie, hou op jou tyd mors. Bygesê, vriendskap is ‘n twee-rigtingverhouding.
  • Soms is dit okay om te laat gaan al het julle ‘n lang geskiedenis.
  • Een-tot-een tyd is belangrik.
  • Luister. Veral as iemand iets doen/sê uit omgee uit.
  • Ons verdien party mense nie en party verdien ons nie. Tref onderskeid tussen die gevalle wat jy die dooiegewig moet laat vaar, of wanneer hulle en jy net mens was/is.

Hierdie jaar gaan ek jou nie vertel hoe wonderlik elke tipe vriendskap is en gesels oor my ongelooflike herinneringe nie, maar eerder iets meer eenvoudig doen en dankie sê. Hierdie is in lyn met my huidige missie om my lewe ‘n bietjie te springclean en vereenvoudig. Eenvoudigheid; ‘n underrated term in my opinie. En só gaan ek ook hierdie jaar op ‘n eenvoudige manier spandeer met lekker borrels en hartsmense. Ek hoop dat julle ook regoor die wêreld vandag ‘n glasie saam met ons klink op die ongelooflike voorreg om ‘n vriend(in) te wees en te hê. Cheers! Chin-chin! Hoi! Lekker.

Ek deel met julle een van die paar gedigte wat ek geskryf het wat handel oor vriendskap (eintlik vir die digbundel wat in die pyplyn is  – watch this space). Hierdie is nie geskryf met één persoon in gedagte nie, maar dit probeer stukkies van baie vriendskappe saamflans – as jy jouself daarin sien, dankie. As jy ook sulke mense het, sê dankie. Wees dankbaar. Maak seker hulle weet dit. Ek is geseënd met die bestes van die bestes. Julle maak seker my standaarde in mense is hoog. Julle is gaaf. Braaf. Vriendelik. Sterk. En het goeie smaak in wyn. Ek leer elke dag by julle.

Hiermee verlaat ek julle vir dié sessie met die gedagte dat jy ook asseblief hierdie jaar moet seker maak dat jy vriende is met jouself.

Daarsy! Shoutout to all the cool ones; hierdie een is vir julle:

dis snaaks, hoe ek vanaand die wêreld wou haat

omdat ek alweer bedien is met ‘n koue koppie arseen.

toe jy en jou ewig gewillige skouers opdaag.

of my toelaat om jou bank/spaarkamer te annekseer.

hel, ek begin al skuldig voel.

dat jy altyd eerste verskyn op my hart se ongelukstonele.

waar die skerwe skerp is en my hande onseker oor die pad.

maar daar is jy.

met jou koffie wat saamgeflans word met

(soms) preke en liefde en verstaan.

harde waarheid en tough love, my dear.

dat jou frequent caller my naam al ken.

en dat jy soms ‘n goeie nagrus verruil vir niksseggende,

giggelende, babbelende whatsapp-calls

waarin ons infinite voel en die wêreld ons speelgrond is.

jy weet altyd watse les wanneer opgedis moet word.

ek kon nog nooit verstaan hoe kry jy dit reg nie.

soms mompel ek slegs onhoorbaar.

of kyk ek net vir jou ‘n sekond te lank.

dan kook jy al die ketel. of kry die kurktrekker.

en jy sug nooit en vra ‘alweer’ nie.

nie eers die honderste keer nie.

soms dwing jy my om te sokkie

wanneer ek dink ek wil eerder die muurblom wees.

of jy laat my verstik van die lag aan die trooskoffie.

vee die trane af wat gemaklik voor jou voete kom lê.

ek verdien jou nie.

op vriendskap: hede, verlede, toekoms.

al my liefde,

L xx

Dear reader.

It is that time of the year again that we dedicate 24 hours to celebrating the wonder of friendship on Vimos-day. A day that has grown all the more important to me since I joined this heart-warming tradition in 2016. This might be partly thanks to my friendship with the founder that has grown exponentially since then and also because I have learnt my fair share of lessons concerning friendship. Some lessons good, some not so comfortable; all of them necessary though.

Read here about the origin of Vimos-day: Vriende & Vonkelwyn • VIMOS • Friends & Champagne

Read here about the all the other years that I have written about friendship when celebrating Vimos-day: Vimos-dag 2017Vimos 2018 ∙ Sjampanje enige iemand? ∙ Champagne anyone?.

Since Vimos-day 2018, I have learnt the following:

  • If it is not unconditional, don’t waste your time. That being said, friendship is a two-way street.
  • It is okay to let go even when you have a long history with someone.
  • One-on-one time is fundamental.
  • Especially when someone says things out of care.
  • We do not deserve some people and some don’t deserve us. Make sure to distinguish between deadweight that needs to be left behind or times that are necessary and part of the cycle of friendship and human nature.

This year I am not going to tell you stories about friendship or memories that I cherish, but keep it simple and leave you with a mere word of gratitude. This fits in with my current mission to simplify life. Simplicity; an underrated term in my opinion. Which also describes the manner in which I will be spending my Vimos-day this year. I hope that a few of you are also having a glass of champagne today and will be making a toast to the privilege of being able to be and have a friend.

I’d like to share one of the few poems I have written about friendship for my poetry anthology that is in the pipeline (watch this space). Bear in mind, this was originally written in Afrikaans. It was not written about or for a specific person in mind, but in the attempt to capture parts of various friendships. If you see yourself in this, thank you. If you have similar friendships, say your thanks. Show your appreciation. I am blessed with the cream of the crop. I blame many people in my life for my high expectations in others. You are kind. Brave. Strong. And have good taste in wine. I learn from you every day.

Also, remember to be friends with yourself and speak kind words to your own heart and body.

Here we go! Shoutout to all the cool ones, this is for all of you out there:

funny, how I wanted to hate the world tonight

because I was once again served with a cold cup arsenic

then you and your always ready shoulders pitched.

and I took advantage of your open door policy.

hell, I am starting to feel guilty.

that you always arrive first at the accident scenes.

where my heart rests shattered.

and my hands seem lost.

but then there you are.

with your perfect coffee blend

infused with (sometimes) speeches and love and understanding.

hard truths and tough love, my dear.

your frequent caller knows my name by now.

and you sacrifice a nights’ sleep for long,

meaningless, giggly whatsapp calls about nothing and everything.

in which we feel infinite and the world is our playground.

you always seem to know which lesson to teach when.

I’ve never quite figured it out.

sometimes I only mumble incoherently.

or look at you for a moment too long.

next moment the kettle will boil. or you’ll get the wine opener.

and you never ask me ‘why this again’.

not even the millionth time.

sometimes you make me dance

when I’d much rather be the wallflower.

or have me choking on your comfort coffee from too much laughing.

you wipe up the tears that comfortably lays at your feet.

I do not deserve you.

to friendship: past, present and future.

all my love,

L xx

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